Punishments for last place in a fantasy football league have become common practice. Some are harmless and only slightly embarrassing; others are time-consuming, painful, and, in extreme cases, permanent (we’re talking about you, tattoo leagues). What’s the best punishment for your league? It really depends on how seriously you take it all and how badly you want to humiliate your friends. Whether you’re looking for light-hearted and funny or “the worst” fate imaginable, we’re here to help.
So, we out further ado, we present the best (or worst) fantasy football punishments for 2021.
DOMINATE YOUR DRAFT: Ultimate 2021 Cheat Sheet
Best (or Worst) Fantasy Football Punishments for Finishing Last
This one is probably the most common viral punishment, as well as the most controversial. After all, as much as we’d like to believe we control the fates of our fantasy teams with skill and deft roster decisions, fantasy football is often a game of luck and misfortune. Is a painful piercing or an embarrassing tattoo really deserved if you stumble into last place in a given season? If your answer is “yes,” then ink away. If you’re a normal human and the answer is “no,” then read on.
Taking the SAT/ACTs
Picture a 40 year old walking into a high school classroom to take a four-hour standardized test alongside nervous teenagers, all because they forgot to set their lineup a time or two. This punishment is more lighthearted and doesn’t harm anyone, but damn if it isn’t a waste of time and embarrassing (especially if there’s a stipulation that you actually have to “try” and not just sit there for the afternoon). Talk about feeling stupid on multiple levels.
Open Mic Comedy/Motivational Speaker
So, you think you’re funny or inspiring? Prove it in front of a crowd of complete strangers who are expecting real stand-up comedy show or motivational speaking. And you can’t just run off stage when the heckling starts — you have to finish your “set” and never let on why you’re really there. You can cry afterwards, though.
Waffle House Marathon
If you don’t know what Waffle House is, then you’re missing out. This punishment requires spending 24 straight hours at a Waffle House restaurant, but each waffle you eat takes an hour off your time. Could I probably scarf down 10 waffles within the 24-hour span? Of course. That still leaves 14 more hours you have to spend in an uncomfortable booth while feeling like a jackass.
Various Forms of Publicly Announcing Your Failure
This one is pretty simple but rather embarrassing. The last-place finisher has to stand near a busy intersection during rush hour holding some form of an “I came in last in fantasy football. Honk to see me dance” sign. Another option: Walking around outside a busy public area on a Friday night wearing a sandwich board detailing how bad you are at fantasy football. (Bonus points if you’re only wearing the sandwich board.) Maybe there are people out there who would enjoy the attention, but the average person will wear a red face for the duration of their punishment.
Participate in NFL Combine Drills
If you’re already embarrassed about being bad at fantasy football, why not take it a step further and show just how bad you are at real football? The average Joe is going to look absolutely ridiculous trying his best in the 40-yard dash, cone drills, vertical jump, and bench press. Meanwhile, all the eyes (and cameras) of the other league members are there to soak in the hilarious occasion. This is pretty harmless, too (aside from the damage to your ego and likely hamstring pull), but at least you get some exercise
Tomato/Paint Ball Barrage
The name is self-explanatory. The rest of the league pelts the loser with tomatoes. It isn’t very creative, but it’s surely effective. You could take it a step further and swap tomatoes for paint balls. Those bruises take a while to heal, which extends the length of time you have to remember how bad your season was.
Photoshoot for a Calendar
This involves your buddies picking outfits for each month and you doing a photoshoot for a calendar. Cupid costume for February? Bunny costume for April? Stars-and-stripes speedo for July? Yeah, this one could be bad.
A lot of people love beer, but what about being full of beer while running a mile? This punishment makes the loser drink a full beer, run a quarter mile, drink a beer, run another quarter mile, and so on until they’ve run a full 5,280 feet. At least you can maybe start to get a buzz while you do this one.
Another simple, yet effective punishment. The loser of the league has to buy a large poster of the player they selected in the first round and keep it in their bedroom for the whole year. Harmless, but a constant reminder of failure…and a surefire way to annoy your significant other.
Picking Up the Tab
The loser simply has to buy food and drinks for the next league gathering, be it the end-of-season party of next year’s draft. This one is pretty simple, but if you’re cheap, you might consider it the worst one of all.
The last place loser has to sit on Santa’s lap at the mall (or loudly complain when security tells them that they’re not allowed). If you want to make them wear an elf costume, all the better. Make sure someone films the inevitable arrest, too.
In this scenario, the loser has to wear a rival NFL team’s jersey to the next fantasy draft (and have photos of it put on social media). For those who aren’t die-hard NFL fans, this might sound easy, but it’s a tough pill to swallow. Picture a Giants fan wearing a Dak Prescott jersey or a Steelers fan wearing a Lamar Jackson jersey. Just feels dirty.
The last place individual has to operate a fully functional lemonade stand in a busy part of town for a full day (with the profits being split among the other members of the league). And the lemonade has to be homemade and good — no cheap Crystal Light crap.
The loser must do a full load of laundry for every member of the league. It’s embarrassing, time-consuming, and potentially gross. You just know someone is putting soiled underpants in there.
Everyone in the league gets a shiny new car wash courtesy of the last-place loser (bikini optional).
Ride to Nowhere
In this excruciating punishment, the loser must take a day-long, non-stop train or bus ride to and from the destination of choice of the other leaguemates. And don’t think you get to be on your phone or tablet the whole time. You can take your phone for emergencies only, but other than that, you get a disposable camera that you have to use like you’re a true tourist.
The loser must sit in a kid-sized plastic chair for the duration of the next fantasy draft. Not only will they be sitting lower than everyone else (how symbolic), but they will also be uncomfortable and look like an idiot (also symbolic).
The loser must dress as a pirate — and talk like a pirate — while they “walk the plank” into a cold river or lake.
Mystery Bag/Roulette Wheel
The loser draws from a bag or spins a wheel full of random punishments submitted by other league members at the beginning of the season. Keep in mind, you could get your own punishment, so you might want to take it easy just in case.
You have to get a vanity license plate announcing your fantasy failure (“FFLOSER?” “12OF12?” “FF AHOLE?”) and keep it on your car for a full year. You could also just go with any embarrassing vanity plate, even if it’s not fantasy football related. That gives you more options.
This one requires the honor system, but basically it involves you being forced to use a wallet or phone case of your league’s choosing until the start of next season. (Suggestions: A pink Velcro Hello Kitty wallet of a Fabio phone case. You all remember Fabio, right?) Imagine the looks when you pull those out in public. You could also force the loser to have an embarrassing charm of some kind on their keychain. It’s the same principle, but it’s easier to forget it’s there…until you notice a stranger trying to sneak a cell phone pic so they can more widely make fun of you.